Got my ability... Now what do I do with it?

It's like suddenly having no privacy whatsoever... Ever imagine what you would do if your inner, most darkest, sometimes embarassing thoughts could be seen by anyone? And I mean, anyone?
Well, that's my ability, or rather, my current nightmare.

No, I can't do that to you. Only to myself.

Let me start with the first clue I got that something was wrong... My parents finally found out about the promicin. I told them! But I didn't...
My mom asked me to go with her to a neighborhood thing, and I said I would, but I didn't want to. I never let on that I had no interest in going or said anything about it, but suddenly she *knew*. She started asking me why and we go into a fight, and she said something that made me think of the promicin I took. The way her eyes widened was kindda scary. She knew! She just knew immediately. That's how my mom found out: I thought it, and she heard or saw that I had taken it.

There was a lot of yelling, and "what if's" such as: what if you died!
But after almost two hours or so, we finally stopped arguing, which in a way I guess I can thank my ability for... They could literally feel all of my answers just as I spoke them.

It went slightly further than that the next day. Not the arguing, my ability. I was at work, and I was looking for the little puppy notebook where we write stuff down. My boss came up and asked me what I was looking for, and I told her. "The puppy notebook with the account values."
She pointed at the desk. "It's right there."
I kept looking exactly at where I was looking, exactly where she was pointing. It wasn't there! I told her it wasn't. And she just blinked over and over again like there was something in her eyes and said. "You're right, it's not."

At first I felt like a sort of backwards empath, because people around me seemed to be able to tell what I was feeling... But then they were able to tell what I was thinking... And know it seems that if I focus on something like an image they can *see* it as if it's right there. I don't know what that makes me... I wanna keep investigating, but it's kindda hard without anyone noticing it...

I still haven't gotten any news from my friend Aria, but I hope she's okay. The reports by other promicin-positives that there are people out there looking for us, NTAC for one, has me worried. I hope that even if she hasn't got my contact info with her wherever she is (and I really don't think she's home), she can find me here on the internet.

That's all for now. I will definetly not be going to work tomorrow or any day until I figure out a way for them not to know what I'm thinking every step of the way.

Starting at the begining

Hi! My name is Linea... But it's not really. I'm not trying to be funny, not really.
The scope of the promicin controversy has not failed to reach international ears. But over here, it's mainly whispers and rumors. We don't know what's really going on out there, if anyone does. Most of what I hear is bad, and that makes me afraid... For myself, and for others who might take promicin.
Well, let me try to take you through what happened about a month ago. I went as an exchange student to the US. While I was there, a friend of mine became really involved with all the 4400 discussions. She had a friend who was one of the returnees. Unfortunately, her family wasn't that thrilled about it.
When promicin hit the streets, she was the first one there. She was able to get a couple of vials, I don't know how. We'd talked about how important we thought they were, the 4400, and how they could make such a great difference in the world... For that reason, she gave me one of the vials.
I waited for so long... See, I have terrible luck, always had... I figured that it would be bad if something happened to me so far away from home, and I never even got the chance to say goodbye to the people I loved. Never got a chance to explain to them... Yeah, I'm a natural pessimist, I know.
But there are risks to promicin, and I wasn't ignorant about them, and didn't take them lightly for even a moment. I knew what the alternatives were. A gift or death. The chance of helping the world or death. I know I repeat the death part a lot here, but I was afraid to die. That's why I didn't take it at first.
I managed to smuggle it back with me on the plane, inside a shampoo bottle. It stayed there, hidden, for a month or so, and I didn't do anything with it. Now, the reasons ranged from fear of death to my fear of needles.
Everything changed when someone emailed me that video about that girl Devon. She risked it, and it didn't work, but does that lessen her effort somehow? Of course not. If you die trying to save someone, is that less than if you die and save them? Not in my eyes.
So I finally got up the nerve and wrote the longest good-bye note to my parents and to my friends (just in case). I wanted them to have answers in case something happened to me... Like... death!
Anyway, I finally did it... and nothing happened. Well, not exactly nothing... I worried and panicked for about the next 48 hours which is what I had read the time frame was. So those were the worst 48 hours of my life. I guess that's a good thing, in a way. Everything else might be easier...
It's been 48 hours and 22 minutes to be exact... So far I'm still here.